With millions of Americans getting their first, second, or only coronavirus vaccine shots every day, folks are actually starting to look forward to all the things they’ll be able to do once herd immunity is reached and life can mostly go back to normal.
And for those who’ve already been vaccinated (and waited a couple weeks for their glorious science-given immunity to kick in), they’re already reaping the benefits. While vaccines don’t reduce the likelihood of catching or spreading COVID-19 to zero, they do reduce the chance you’ll get seriously, life-threateningly ill — meaning fully vaccinated people are feeling confident enough to hug their grandkids, make out with (vaccinated) strangers, and board a flight across the country to do those things.
However, there are limits. The CDC notes that even after you’ve got your shots, you should avoid hanging out with at-risk loved ones without at least donning your mask, and also avoid “medium or large gatherings”.
And according to a new meme format doing the rounds on Twitter, your shiny new immunity also doesn’t entitle you to go around recreating the plots of beloved movies, books, and plays.
hey PSA: being vaccinated does NOT mean you can invite your friend over for a cask of amontillado sherry, while secretly planning to entomb him within your basement in revenge for a perceived slight
— noah pasarán (@noahpsychs) April 7, 2021
(Apparently being vaccinated does mean we’re bringing back Cask of Amontillado memes, and that is something we can all get behind.)
Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can host an extravagant party at your West Egg mansion that symbolizes the superficiality and moral corruption of the rich
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) April 7, 2021
Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can invite 5 children and their adult chaperones to your chocolate factory to be masochistically tortured in various candy making processes while you arbitrarily choose one to inherit your fortune
— A Literal Homosexual (@kyry5) April 7, 2021
being vaccinated does NOT mean that you can go on vacation to Italy and pretend to be your pop star doppelgänger and perform to thousands of people at the Colosseum.
— Elly Belle, notably not a woman 🔮 (@literElly) April 7, 2021
Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can travel to New Jersey and use your powers of magic and mind control to imprison an entire town forcing them to live out your fantasy of a classic sitcom marriage with your synthezoid husband. Jesus. It’s called, wear a mask, people.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) April 7, 2021
Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can invite three men who you believe might be your father to your destination wedding in Greece without telling anyone.
— Lauren Pokedoff (@LaurenPokedoff) April 6, 2021
being vaccinated does NOT mean you can go on a road trip across Mexico with your best friend and a Spanish woman you met at a wedding, then betray each other along the way, think about mortality by the beach, and eventually end up in a steamy threesome that tests your friendship.
— Carlos Aguilar (@Carlos_Film) April 8, 2021
being vaccinated does NOT mean you can meet up with your childhood love at his diner while he cooks you a meal then drives you home to wrap his arms around you, holding all your pieces together after you confess you broke yourself for him
— giabuchi lastrassi (@jaboukie) April 8, 2021
being vaccinated does NOT mean you can travel to sweden with your boyfriend and his friends to attend one of his friends’ rural hometown’s fabled midsummer festival
— jonny sun has a new book coming out in april! (@jonnysun) April 7, 2021
Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can host a younger Professor and his wife over for a seemingly endless night of booze and sick little mind games.
— Jeff Heimbrock (@jheimbrock) April 6, 2021
being vaccinated does NOT mean that you can separate your twin daughters during your divorce and move to napa while your wife moves to london and then never tell your daughters that they have a twin sister AND a living parent, leading to them meeting each other at summer camp…
— sey smythe (@sey_anything) April 7, 2021
hey PSA: being vaccinated does NOT mean you may simply walk into Mordor
— Tim Owens (@AtTimOwens) April 7, 2021
And don’t even think about recreating your high school Tumblr posts just because you’re all vaxxed up.
hey PSA: being vaccinated does NOT mean you can take your son into the city to see a marching band and ask him to be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned
— Emo Nite (@emonitela) April 7, 2021
Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me, park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me, park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me, park that car, drop that phone, slee
— Larry Fitzmaurice (@lfitzmaurice) April 8, 2021
But hey, vaccinated angsty 1950s sapphics: you do you.
being vaccinated does NOT mean you can leave your glove at a NYC department store in an attempt to woo the clerk and then the two of you leave your male partners for a Christmas road trip where you only interact with each other oh wait actually the CDC said that’s fine nvm
— Madison Malone Kircher (@4evrmalone) April 7, 2021
If you recognized all of those, congratulations! You have spent the past year inside consuming all media ever made, and you’ve earned one unforgettable summer of adventure that changes you and your friends forever. Just… stay safe, and get that jab as soon as you can.